HOW HEALTHY IS YOUR ‘EMOTIONAL BANK ACCOUNT’?
According to author Stephen R, Covey, the emotional bank account is a metaphor for the amount of trust that has been built up in a relationship. It is the feeling of safeness you have with another person.
As with an actual bank account, each of us makes deposits into, or withdrawals from, our emotional bank accounts. As a result, over time, our relationships with others get better or worse.
We make ‘deposits’ when we act with integrity and are thoughtful, kind, courteous, or appreciative to others. The more we make these deposits, the more others trust us, and when trust is high, communicating and working together becomes easier and smoother. When we make sufficient deposits over a period of time, we build enough ‘reserves’ with each other to weather misunderstandings or miscommunications that invariably arise even in the best of relationships.
BUT… if our emotional bank accounts are depleted because we have made too many ‘withdrawals’, then our trust levels with others becomes dangerously low!
If we are constantly discourteous, or fail to keep our word, or if we over-react or ignore others, and act arbitrary or superior, our trust levels with them naturally diminish. Interactions become fraught and tense and we find ourselves measuring every word we say, because our relationships with others have become emotional minefields!
More often than not, it is not the huge glaring faults and mistakes that destroy a relationship, but the dozens of smaller, subtler ones. After all, in a relationship, ‘the little things are the big things’. It is also worth remembering that our most constant relationships require our most constant deposits.
So how do we go about making meaningful deposits in the emotional bank accounts in our lives? Perhaps the best way is by taking the time to truly understand each other. Not only is this an important deposit in itself, but it is also the key to making other deposits. Because, remember, what looks like a deposit to you might actually be a withdrawal for the other person. It is only a deposit if the other person also considers it one!
Have a great week with many meaningful deposits!
(And if you would like to learn how to truly understand other people at a deep level, consider signing up for our upcoming certification programmes which will give you deep and valuable insights into human personality, and teach you how to bring out the best in those you live and work with)
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